josh

03:19 pm: “With one breath, the newborn angel took to the air . . . and the world sighed.”
I am in a wierd mood lately, can't explain, don't know what its all about, just know that... well i don't really know. i'm not sure if it is a blah mood, or a whatever mood, or a i just want to be a nerd leave me alone mood. Oh well, i better learn to except that, theres things in my life i can't explain. It's like somebody took my place, i ain't even playing my own game. The rules have changed well i didn't know, theres things in my life i can't control.


When she flies above the good, they consider themselves blessed. When she flies above the wicked, they consider themselves dead.-Serra Angel

-Josh

02:53 pm: Why Hello there...
Haven't updated in a while, a bunch has happened too, guess thats why i haven't done anything. Well, i guess that i not only look like adam brody, but for our talent show, i had to play, yes, you know it, napoleon dynamite. I did the dance, had the moon boots, tight pants, and tucked in pedro shirt. IT was a lot of fun. I went to formal this past weekend, and that was a blast as well. I took britney and it was prom all over again. Not a bad thing, and they didn't play any rap, thanks dad for being the DJ. Its fun to just let lose everyonce and a while. and oh boy did i let lose. we also had scots day, which was tues where no one had any classes and everyone just drinks all day, and beleive when i say that EVERYONE drinks durring the day. The campus was just crazy. And it looks like i will get a single to myself next year, excited. Dona called me the other day too and wondered if i'd rather go back to germany or france this summer, don't know what i'll do, i may have to stay and work. Been playin a lot of magic, and whats great, is that seth cohen makes a lot of refrences to it, so it can't be that bad, can it? oh yeah, and classes next year are all junior level classes, and i get to start my research, ultra excited. I don't know, i still don't like this place that much, but unfortunetly i think it is starting to grow on me, i don't think i'll go to UIC after all, maybe my junior year. oh, and next weekend is the faculty mixer at the house, oh man, thats where we invite our favorite teachers, have a cookout, and drink with them. I drank with my chem prof last week, he was takin shots with me and drinking beers, not me drinkin beers, but you know. And it was a blast. oh, and lately i've been really active, don't know why, just happens. I guess i have to learn that theres things in my life i can't control.

-josh(napoleon)

04:06 pm: ahhh, fresh air!
Well i haven't wrote in a while cause i have been super busy this week. This past week was greek week and there were events all week, participated in football, volleyball, softball, kickball, swiming, and god, these sports were not made for smokers. And i can finnaly tell you about the greek week show that i was in. I played Seth Cohen in a skit about the OC that i had to practice for for weeks, so if i seemed a little consumed by the show, its because i had to watch every episode a couple of times from the first season, listen to the music, and practice the lines, some people actually only call me seth now so i get confused sometimes. But it was worth it because we did win first place in the show, BECAUSE IT ROCKED!!! And i got a big part of the play, and i got to dance, if you didn't see it, you didn't miss much. Well i gotta study for chem, since it is my major and all, you guys have a beautiful weekend, and if your reading this, stop, and go outside and enjoy the beautiful weather. Thanks.

-Josh(aka the gatherer)

12:08 am: What are video games? better yet, who is josh meyer you mayt ask? Well my video gamews have made up who i am, without them, i wokld have no humor, no sympathy, not empathy, nothin. Yeah thats rignt, i like video games, and its so c`ool that peple understand that. i know some people said tey liked it in me bout not really, and thats ok. cause you know what, woooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhhhh,. yezh woooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! thats right, ne w man josh, later

-cohen

12:23 am: do you gather?
I don't know what it is but i just feel so good. I think i have finnaly been able to see past all the stupid debt and crap that i gotta deal with and can now just focus on whats really important. I can play yu-gi-oh and magic the gathering with kids at school and not get made fun of. Watchin the OC all the time, just enjoyin it. Had a decent easter, in the form that it was just nice and relaxing. I am glad i didn't work too much over break, cause a "break" is actually nice everyonce and a while. Sucks i have to go to school tommorow, even though i really don't have class untill fri, but my ma promised that we would drive steve down when he needed to go. no biggie. and me and jordanna are doing really well. This puzzle is starting to finnaly get its edge pieces into place, and hopefully i won't use the wrong pieces again. I can tell, this is going to be a 6,000,000 piece puzzle, but the picture in the end is going to be awesome. happy break!

-josh

03:31 pm: WOOOOOOHHHH!!!
Yeah, i'm leaving to go back home for easter break for a week, so you guys better be prepared for some coffee!!! Oh yeah, i have to be back here by wed, and if not wed, then fri, so i may have a nice almost two week break, i love not having classes on tue and thur. Well i hope you guys have a fun time in school. Oh, and i was asked to be a student chaplain, i think i might do that because that is a big deal at this school i guess so that will be fun. buhbyes!

-el josharino

10:37 am: blahhhhhh
well i had a pretty good weekend, in fact, it was really good. And it looks like i am still a ZBT member because the guys are trying to help me out with the costs. I don't know how long it will last though, oh well, i'll see how it goes. But friday i officialy got my father, watson, which is awesome. We had a great time. Sat i started drinkin at noon and stopped at 430, i felt like i had accopmlished something, but i don't know what. I also tried my first jello shots with everclear that my grandma made. WOOHOO! But in all actuality, i felt drained on sun, so i don't know if i am going to continue drinking anymore. Or at least keep it in moderation. Then sunday was AMAZING! it was so nice outside that i took my new camera from the school and walked around campus and took some awesome pics! i even found an awesome stream right off of campus. Then we had an OC marathon cause my father is actually from the OC, as in he lives there and is not on the show. Man, 16 episodes later, and plenty of magic card games, i came in at 4 last night, and now blah, and that all there really is i suppose.

-josh

10:11 pm: Read a book to stay awake, its a great escape
what to say, well, i am sick, another infection go figure, and my ma doesn't have insurance anymore so i can't get perscriptions, that sucks. I have been sick for most of my classes, but my professors are pretty understanding. I am no longer a ZBT member, i am kinda sad, but i can keep hanging out with them, without the cost, but now i owe them $420 just for saying i wanted to join, hello bigger debt. My ma and chris, the new fling, drove with me down this weeked, they were talking about a bunch of stuff that made me start thinking. Also, my ma doesn't want me to leave monmouth because, "It means so much to the family that you go there.." Yeah whatever, i applied at UIC, and Northwestern, maybe the city will be better. Ben gave me a book called the Sorrows of young Werther, and it is pretty good so far. Oh, and also, i am considering switching majors, from biochem and chem, to english for secondary ed. Don't know yet, but i miss reading, and my new science classes suck, i don't know anymore, got a lot to think about. Have a good day.

-Josh
(formerly known as....Josh)

07:21 pm: AHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!11
I need help, stat!!! There are 33 people on campus tonight, and i account for one of them, i am going crazy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and its only 7. what a world. what a world. Ask for a little, get a lot taken away, AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! well i am gonna play DDR by myself, drink a little, by myself, all my brothers have gone home, steve gone, alexis gone, erin gone, AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH, But i won't get fooled again!!!
Sing it Townsend!! I move myself and my family aside, if i'm lucky to get out ALive!!! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHH!!!!, god help me, WHO, you rock, you my only friend.....

10:19 pm: almost there....
midterms almost over, then home, work, cofffee and diners... ohhh can't wait. been in a wierd mood lately too, can't really explain it, just wierd i guess, lots on the old mind. better clean attic soon, god knows the basements been run threw enough. anyways, hope you guys are doin good, been listenen to a lot of cat and phish lately, so here's a song i like, to leave on.

Things are falling down on me, heavy things i could not see.
When i finnaly came around, something small would get me down,
when i tried to step inside...
I moved to where they'd hope i'd be.
And as she calls me on the phone, reminding me i'm not alone,
I fuss and quake and cavitate,
I try to speak and turn to stone...
Till she reaches through my vest,
to do the thing she does best.
She probes and tears my ventircles,
steals my one remaining breath
Stubmling as i fall from grace, she needs my vision to replace.
Her ailing sight throughout the night,
Leaving two holes in my face.
Mary was a friend I'd say, 'Till one summer day
She borrowed everything I owned
And then simply ran away..
Things are falling down on me, heavy things i could not see.
When i finnaly came around, something small would get me down,
when i tried to step inside...
I moved to where they'd hope i'd be.

04:50 pm: uhhhhh....
Well this weekend wasn't so bad, scratch that, it sucked. I have been sick all weeked, and my roomate has been too. He didn't even get out of bed once yesterday, and just to clarify things, this is not due to drinking. I just feel like crap. i hope i feel better for break, which is this comming weekend, i'll be home for a week and a half, thank god. I can't wait to go have some coffee with the old gang. well, i am going to pass out. later

-josh

10:20 am: wholipin web slingers
So i have officialy decided that seth coen is everything i have wanted to be. I watched the OC last night, and what was he wearing, a spiderman mask. Thats right, he has excellent taste, and he also lived out a dream of mine, hanging upside down with the mask on, and having the girl of your dreams kiss you while it is raining, but i mean c'mon, it doesn't rain in the OC. One of the brothers up at the house is actually from the OC, which is pretty cool, and really likes the show. And yeah, tonight is the big initiation, i am pretty excited, got all my nice clothes on, found my gucci watch which was a plus, sara B. told me the watch was ok to wear in public, so its gotta be good. Well i got some homework to do, catch yall later. Women and children first, and children first, i'll laugh untill my head comes off.

03:23 pm: Well, played flippy cup for the first time last night, that ended up in a very sick josh. Oh well, i am excited cause tonight we are all gonna watch the OC on the big screen up at the house. Can't wait. Oh, and i am gonna perform again tonight, i play the blues harp with some people at the coffee house we got, i played with them on tuesday and it was a bunch of fun. Well this will probably be my last entry untill after the weekend, don't think that i will be waking up much, just gonna sleep, tommorows the big day. Woh. and heres a song by phish that i really like and i was just feeling it earlier. you know what i mean?

I'd like to live beneath the dirt,
a tiny space to move and breathe,
is all that i would ever need.
I wanna live beneath the dirt,
where'd i'd be free from push and shove,
like all those squirming up above,
beneath their heels i'll spend my time.
Shout your name into the wind.
I'll riddle in the earth and dune.
Shout your name into the wind.
Sometimes i will think of you.
Shout your name into the wind.
And if you ever think of me,
kneel down and kiss the earth,
And show me what this thought is worth.
I'll never hear your voice again.
Shout your name into the wind....

07:26 pm: ZBT!!!!
Well its final, within the next 72 hours, i will be intiated, and no longer be the josh you see before you, but the josh ZBT member. I signed it over, and am no just awaiting the ceramony. On friday i will have to dress up nice, so i will have to iron a shirt, wear a tie, put on my good guci shoes(thank you so much dona!), and iron my pants. Its been a while since i have been able to dress up. Oh, man, i can't wait.

OH, and on a side note i would like to appoligize for my earlier coment refering to people as jesus freaks, it was very immature of me and i am truly sorry if i offended anybody, I respect peoples choices to choose religion and it was not smart of me to say that after having such a great weekend with them. My appologizes.

-josh

08:18 pm: ohh, and just a few things to not say to jesus freaks, learned out the hard way-

"The Bible is like my favorite fictional book!"

"well, i like buddhism because its more physical. Like 2 hands working get a lot more done than 1,000 hands praying."

"Jesus IS the freshmaker."

"JESUS FUCKING CHRIST!!!"
as a matter of fact, don't swear at all.

"What god?"

so don't say those things, you get bad looks, among other things

06:40 pm: woaahhhh
Well i had a blast this weekend, minus most of the jesus talk which wasn't so bad, and singing. If you have ever seen saved!, i met like 6 mandy moore from that movie, interesting to say the least. But everyone was pretty cool. I hiked around for like 4 hours yesterday, got wind burned and built a bridge with emily, who is awesome, and jimmy, equally awesoome, and holly, awesome, unfortunetly holly fell in the water and was picked up before the current took her away which was a good thing, but all four of us got across, and it was awesome. I needed that nature, i feel good, a little sick but good. I think that this has tought me a lot too, i had a great drug free weekend. On a sucky note, something i never thought of before, was home. What do you call home? That was one of the discussions, and i was thinking, what do i call home. I may have had one at one point, a real home, but no, can't have that. We move once a year, and the new house i sleep in the living room, only for two weeks mind you. and talking to my ma on fri, she is actually thinking about moving into the city, on W. belmont, she met another guy, i don't know if she makes the right decisions in that area, but its not like i have room to say. ANyways, it sucks, but other than that, the weekend was awesome, played trivial persuit(still suck at that game), scrabble, kemps, pictionary(funny as hell), and scatagories. IT was a good weekend.


Hold me closer tiny dancer.. Count the headlights on the highway....

12:33 pm: Sirtual Retreat?
Well i will be gone all weekend in maloine? maybe, don't know where we are going, but it is for a spiritual retreat. Kelly invited me to come because I would be the only budhist. ANd they want me to be their spirtual guide? oh man, the pressure is on, i am really nervous because they are excited that i am coming and they told me today that i am going and i wasn't planing on going, and oh man, i don't know anybody except for kelly and her boyfriend who are going. THis also should help me figure a bunch of stuff out, and the outdoor air will be nice. I come back sunday, so it should be fun, oh boy. "I guess i'll see you on the other side."

-josh

for 2000394 points, guess what movies that from, shouldn't be too hard

ps. Thank you goes out to shannon for buying me the how to practice book, it will come in handy this weekend.

12:33 pm: Who are you?
I am tired, tired of myself. I am tired of looking in the mirror and seeing someone who i don't know who they are. I have been realizing lately that i have changed into somebody i am not, and somebody i don't like. And lately i have been missin a lot of things, playing video games, being in high school, smokin and drinking with my friends, and many other important things to me, things that will never come back, and never return to me. Now all i do is drink, play sport video games? WTF? and go out and be social with the opposite sex, but i am an introvert, and being social sucks, to an extent at least. I just spent 50$ on AE clothing, care of Donna's money of course, but why did i do it? To impress people? Who do i need to impress? I am not cool, and i am tired of being a poser, by wearing and amazing Nintendo jacket and pretending i am a video game nerd. Its time for me to stop being tired, and wake up. My first round of tests went horribly, C's across the board. THat pisses fuck out of me, i remember last semister i would go bowliing, then stay in the rest of the night, drank twice before D-day, and life was good. But you know what, there is no good reason to drink, you may think of excuses to drink, but no good reasons. ANd also, I am gaureenteed a bid into ZBT if i continue to rush, what am i gonna do in a real fraternity? Don't think so. Also I got back most of my applications, accepted into Carrol, ISU, and NIU. Didn't get into cambridge in England, but there's a suprise. SHould i stay or should i go? Well, it is time for me to do some serious work, and grow up. IT's not going to be easy, but you know what....
Nothing Ever came from a life that was a simple one......

-signed, a hopefully different josh

07:35 pm: Holy SHit!!
Now i know, greg tried to warn me, and everyone else wanted to drink, so i said, "Well, i'll go to the Vagina Monologues." And wow, yeah, wow. don't really uhhh, feel like going out and seeing any girls, but man, do i have a much, MUCH greater appreciation for women, you don't even know. It was an excellent play though, but man, yeah, don't think i have ever heard the word VAGINA and CUNT and coothie snoortcher more times in one sitting then i have in my entire life. ANd thats about, have a good evening, and a good weekend.

-josh

12:01 am: Man i am in my friends room watching ove r a puking sara, she failed out and godt dur,k this week end, and f'in amanda went to the house to go have sex. SO i am here and she jusgt callex, man i now i made a mistake, in fact made a lo t of mistakes, but just cause i went to
NIU doesn't mean i am going to ruin her life, that makes me sad, man i had a lot to drinnk, man, you knkow i honestly just want her to be happy and i dondn't know that t i would make mad when i wehn t T
O
NIU and know she thinks i am out tho get her, what have i become????????
i don't like this, watching over peoples okay, but beiung drunk and having peolple think i want to ruin their sex life sucks, that is no t me. Not like you believe me, man, i am not gonn a write thins